not like the other girls

trigger warning: abuse

This is an entry for the FEMFLASH 2013 writing competition from Mookychick Online. Enter now.

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‘You’re not like the other girls.’

What you feel at first is victory. You flush hot with pride. Maybe he wears steel-toe boots and talks big about politics and when you breathe in the scent of his skin you get dizzy.

He understands you. You’re outsiders, Bonnie and Clyde. He hates girls who cake on makeup because it looks artificial, so you trade a red lip for Chapstick, though he never asked you to.

He talks about his ex, a crazy bitch who was so insecure, who was weird about him touching her stomach and thighs, who’d only let him sleep with her now and then. But you’re not like that. You’ll do anything he wants, whenever he wants. You teach yourself to like the things he likes. You pretend to like the things you can’t.

His friends will wish they had girlfriends like you. You throw back tequila shots with them, play video games with them. You haven’t seen your own friends in weeks, but boys are less drama anyway.

Girls told you he was trouble, but that was before you. Besides, why should you listen to those bitches? You’re not like them. You’re not like the other girls.

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hysteria

This is an entry for the FEMFLASH 2013 writing competition from Mookychick Online. Enter now.

YOU WANT TO KEEP THINGS CIVILISED & ANTISEPTIC
YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR HANDS CLEAN
DETACHED, PRECISE, CLINICAL & ORDERLY
A POLITICS LIKE A PRODUCTION LINE
A TOURNIQUET THAT SUFFOCATES THE WOUND

YOU WANT TO KEEP THINGS STIFF & DEAD
AN IDEA PRESERVED IN A GLASS CASE
UNMOVING, UNTOUCHED
YOU ASK FOR CHARTS & DIAGRAMS
BUT FLINCH FROM THE EVIDENCE WE GIVE YOU
IN OUR TEARS, OUR ANGER, OUR SHAKING HANDS

YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR OUR STORIES
KNOW OUR TRUTHS, LEARN YOUR DAMAGE
YOU BLEACH THEM FROM THE DISCOURSE
BLEACH MY SISTERS’ HISTORY
AND BLEACH MY SISTERS’ SKIN

YOU WANT TO KEEP US SLENDER & BARELY-THERE
EACH BODY A SINGLE WHITE ANEMONE
AND YOU, THE CUTWORMS, FEED SO HELPLESSLY
YOU MAKE US STAMP EACH OTHER OUT
FOR A BREATH OF AIR
AND YOU TAKE EVERYTHING BUT RESPONSIBIILITY

YOU WANT TO KEEP THINGS CIVILISED
YOU WANT TO KEEP THINGS
YOU WANT TO KEEP US
YOU WANT

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